Bitchy Buttons

Which one of these apply to you?

5 Items MeMe

Stolen from Badger's Blog:

5 items in my fridge:
1. Apricots
2. Peaches
3. Strawberries
4. Watermelon
5. Cantaloupe

5 items in my closet:
1. shoes
2. laundry basket
3. purses
4. medicine
5. small baseball bat

5 items in my car:
1. windshield guard to keep out sun
2. pad of paper
3. electric garage door opener
4. chapstick/lip balm
5. hand lotion

5 items in my purse:
1. sunglasses (waves to Boo)
2. datebook
3. cell phone
4. keys
5. four pens

5 items on my desk:
1. Cleo
2. stuffed cats from OT peeps
3. pile of papers (waves to Nutz)
4. deck of Wanted Iraqi Terrorists playing cards
5. remote for fan/light

5 items flowering my my garden:
1. impatiens
2. geraniums
3. agapanthas
4. day lilies
5. allysum

Me Me Me Me Meeeeeee

Yes, it's the Meme that is circulating among the blogs. And now for mine:

Puffy needs help.
Puffy needs you.
Puffy needs to stop being greedy and give credit where is due.
Puffy needs to stop playing.
Puffy needs to get his sh*t together, F*ck*n jagoff.
Puffy needs to sneak one of the gang of hoes he's known to keep in Dunwoody back to his place.
Puffy needs his ass kicked.
Puffy Needs more money.
Puffy needs to learn more about writing.
Puffy needs a role model.
Puffy, needs to be bitched-slapped.
Puffy needs to come to the parade!
Puffy needs to be taken outside every couple of hours.
Puffy needs to keep that computer with him at all times.
This is how I feel:
Puffy Needs A Home...And That Home Is....The Mental Hospital!!!
This is my favorite:
Puffy needs three squeezes of love a day.

Birthday Greetings

My birthday has come and gone. We usually start celebrating the night before a big event. We give each other cards and gifts in bed the night before. Mr. Puffy got me some beautiful and soft loungewear for around the house. Sort of a present for him, too.

He also got me a brand new super-duper-does-everything keyboard for my computer. I was very excited about that and it was a total surprise. We had never discussed a new keyboard. We both liked it so much, that we went right out on Saturday to buy him one too, for Father's day.

He also got me a Ott-Lite lamp for my desk. Have you heard of it? The Ott-Lite gives out natural light illumination without glare on the papers or the computer monitor. It's small so it doesn't take up much room on my desk. My cat still has plenty of room to sleep while I play on the computer. I got the "task lamp." Here's the website: http://www.ottlite.com/

Then we went out to dinner and to a charity auction for the local Boys and Girls Club. It was held outdoors on a huge lawn. We had yummy food, especially the chocolate-covered strawberries. The live auction lasted from 7-10 pm while the Bid Board tables for silent auctions closed every 15 minutes from 7:45 to 10:00 pm. Name an item and it was up for auction. There were about 1000 people there and the event netted about $475,000.

They got $125 from us! I bid on and won a reflexology foot treatment with a manicure and pedicure. Mr. Puffy got a book autographed by Graham Nash. It includes interviews of many songwriters and the lyrics of their songs in their own handwriting. It came with two CD's that have interviews with the songwriters, too. It's really special. Make that Father's Day gift #2.

That about wraps up my birthday weekend. Mr. Puffy knows how to make me feel special and show me a good time.

Cats are people, too

The Top 9 Signs Your Pet Has Been Using Your Computer

9. Well, when YOU mark a website, your keyboard doesn't end up all sticky and smelling of ammonia.

8. All entries on your Palm Pilot to-do list are "eat", "sleep" and "lick self."

7. Stacks of paper spewing out of your printer read the same thing over and over: "All scraps and no walks makes Rover a dull dog."

6. E-mailed bomb threats to the Spay/Neuter Clinic have been traced to your account.

5. You wouldn't think it would be possible to have nude jpegs of the pets.com sock puppet, but there they are.

4. The screen is coated with cat hair because Mister No-Opposable-Thumbs can't get the cap off the anti-static spray.

3. Dozens of new bookmarks to skinhead organizations, and your hairless cat's been acting a bit surly of late.

2. Your hamsters have given up their exercise wheel in favor of line dancing.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Pet Has Been Using Your Computer...

1. Neighbors' websites have been dug up and pooped on.
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And to be fair to the dog lovers:

DOG PET PEEVES ABOUT HUMANS

1. When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.
2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny.
3. Yelling at me for barking ... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!!
4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything
while you're gone. (ps. have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a
little like cat butt? ).
5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly
who's walk is this anyway?
6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it.
7. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet. Why'd you buy
carpet then???
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I
haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet...idiot.
9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the
truth...you're just jealous.
10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur??? Imbecile.
11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew
your shit up when you're not home.
12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize how
far behind schedule that puts me?
13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when
I freak out everytime we go back.
14. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog!!! What a
proud moment for the top of the food chain, you nitwit.
15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us?? To my
knowledge, dogdom hadn't yet solved the visible fence problem!!!
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Two foreign nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that people of this country actually eat dogs!" "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, the Mother Superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards the cart."Two dogs, please," says one. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs'. The Mother Superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and then, staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
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My parents had not been out together in quite some time. One
Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father
stepped up behind her. "Would you like to go out, girl?" he
asked. Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied,
"Oh, yes, I'd love to!"
They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn't until the
end of it that Dad confessed. His question had actually been
directed to the family dog, lying near Mom's feet on the
kitchen floor.
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Now here's one for all pet lovers:

Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose?

Now, think about it......


Answer:
10 little piggies

2 calves,

1 ass,

and an unknown number of hares.